Cold Plastic
Words by : Leric Speltighe, OPF
(Copyright Sam Mize 1985) (Used with permission)
Tune of : Cold Iron by Leslie Fish
Gold is for the merchant, silver for him too,
Copper for the taxman (we don't tell how well we do).
"These do delight me," goes the merchant's call,
But plastic, cold plastic, is master of them all.
Coins have weight and volume, you can't bring a lot,
Currency is better, but it's still just what you've got.
Checks take deposits, or returned they'll fall,
But plastic just takes credit -- it's the master of them all.
When you find that beanie, signed by Kilgore Trout,
Made from Saavik's underwear, that you can't live without,
Cash hurts to part with, so you'll wait and stall,
But plastic hurts tomorrow, so you'll go ahead and fall!
Plastic out of Citibank is master of men all!
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